Beer and Loathing in Bangalore

It was Gandhi Jayanthi. And it fell on a Friday. 3 day weekend. Beginning of the month. Salary in bank account. Need I say more?

So, I and my friend G decided to head to Bangalore to celebrate Gandhi Jayanthi with wildlife – Royal Stag and Kingfisher.

Below are a few of the Dos, Don’ts, Bad ideas, Observations and Notes to self I have put down from the events that I managed to remember over the weekend that was nothing short of a perfect concoction of “pure fun” and “suicidal drinking”.

Have fun. And do not try this at home (when parents are around)

Things not to say just before leaving house for lunch, “Let’s have a quick drink!” You might end up skipping lunch and ordering-in dinner.

Bad idea to mix camera and whisky. Might cause irreversible damage to the camera and your reputation.

Bad idea to get drunk in a pub that has a tattoo parlour next door.

Bad idea trying to be Nicholas Cage from “Leaving Las Vegas”. He was just acting.

The filter end of the cigarette goes in your mouth.

Beer is not a substitute for water when you wake up completely dehydrated at 4 in the morning after a night of crazy drinking.

Neither is drinking whisky straight from the bottle.

When your friend gets drunk and starts puking in the middle of the road and says, “Leave me alone for 5 minutes. You go home. I’ll come in some time.” Please do not listen to him.

Do not try throwing eggs from the 12th floor balcony at the sleeping security guard. You’ll miss and the eggs will hit your car, in all probability.

The filter end of the cigarette goes in your mouth.

Do not drink with people if you have secrets that you don’t wish to share.

Hitting on your friend’s girlfriend will have him hitting you.

Walls don’t give way to you. You can’t blame them for broken glasses.

Bad idea having 4 samosas for breakfast.

If you are drunk and in a tea shop and smoking and someone asks you, “Are you having match box?” Please don’t laugh at him and say, “No, I am having tea.”

The filter end of the cigarette goes in your mouth.

Never initiate a conversation with an auto guy. The experience will leave you sober.

Using the map as a toilet paper is all fine. But make sure your return tickets are booked if you have to haul your ass back to work on a Monday.

There are certain luxuries I have gotten used to. I can’t travel by cattle class. Have money —> Will afford.

The filter end of the cigarette goes in your mouth.

~ by Farting Pen on October 5, 2009.